Only In Pinas

(This is not in any way an attempt to put down the English capabilities of the Filipino. Just pointing out some funny “slip of the pen” from our Pinoy brethren.)

Printed on a streamer in front of a gym in Lucena City:
WE ALMOST HAVE COMPLETE SET OF GYM EQUIPMENTS
(Now, how's that for truth in advertising?)

In a supermarket in Baguio:
FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE
(locked in freshness!)


Posted outside a house in Jaro, Iloilo:
HOUSE FOR RENT, FULLY FURNACED
(Boy, it must be hot in there.)

Outside a flower shop along Avenida Rizal:
WE SELL ARTIFICIAL FRESH FLOWERS
(you’re assured that your flowers are fresh even if they’re artificial… really)

On a glass window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan City:
WE SHOOT YOU WHILE YOU WAIT
(Ouch!)

Posted on the fence of a makeshift parking lot in Pasay:
PARKING PEE: P10
(What is it really? A parking lot or a public toilet?)

In a bowling center in Congressional:
PARKING FOR COSTUMERS ONLY
(Probably some of the clown suits worn in Congress)

In a restaurant in Cebu:
WE HAB SOPDRINK IN CAN AND IN BATOL
(this is a phonetic transcription my friends)

Posted on a building (the Internet source doesn't specify where):
NOTARY PUBLIC, TUMATANGGAP DIN NG LABADA KUNG LINGGO
(Notary Public, also accepts laundry services during Sundays)
(times are rough… even for lawyers)

On the glass wall of an eatery in Panay Avenue near National Bookstore:
WANTED: WAITER, CASHIER, WASHIER
(someone who washes more?)

In San Andres, Manila:
NO URINATING ON THE OVER WALLS
(where?)

In a classified ads section:
WANTED SALESLADY, 20-25 YEARS OLD, PROBABLY SINGLE
(if you’re not sure, don’t apply)

Outside a sari-sari store in front of the gate of Green Valley in Baguio:
NO CRIDET!
(still searching for the meaning)

In a building in Cubao:
NONE ID NOTHING ENTRY
(it’s…. it’s…. I’m at a lost for words)

In a 24-hour store in Bulacan:
CONVIENIENT STORE
(just a typo… really)

At a construction site in Mandaluyong:
BAWAL OMEHI DITO, ANG MAHOLI BOG-BOG
(don’t ask)

Outside a videoke bar in Pampanga:
WANTED FEMALE LADY SINGER
(a female singing for ladies? Or….. oh I get it…)

Along a highway in Pampanga:
WE MAKE MODERN ANTIQUE FURNITURE
(at least they’re not old)

Also in Pampanga:
WE SELL OLD ANTIQUES
(these ones are old)

The name of a laundry shop in Bo. Kapitolyo in Pasig:
CINAVON

On the gate of a house in Tarlac:
COLD ICED BUKO 4 SALE
(I wonder if they also serve it hot?)

Posted outside a beauty shop in Laguna:
WE ALSO DO FULL BODY MESSAGE

In Tiaong, Quezon:
ROAN'S CONTRACTION SUPPLIES
(they’re building a house and delivering a baby)

Outside a shoe store in Pangasinan:
WE SELL IMPORTED ROBBER SHOES
(for professional thieves only)

In a restaurant in Baguio:
WANTED: BOY WAITRESS
(Harvey Milk must be rolling in his grave!)


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Peter Allan C. Mariano

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