Only In Pinas

(This is not in any way an attempt to put down the English capabilities of the Filipino. Just pointing out some funny “slip of the pen” from our Pinoy brethren.)

Printed on a streamer in front of a gym in Lucena City:
WE ALMOST HAVE COMPLETE SET OF GYM EQUIPMENTS
(Now, how's that for truth in advertising?)

In a supermarket in Baguio:
FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE
(locked in freshness!)

Filipinisms 101

These are the words that are so unique and loaded in meaning that they will never find a direct translation in the English language.

Forget traditional dictionaries. Keep this.

1. Achuchu (A-chu-chu)
This refers to the pointless insincerities being said during long, involved conversations about nothing at all.

2. Ano (A-noh)
The all-around, all-purpose word for everything.

(a) Pronoun in interrogation: Ano? (What?)
(b) Noun: Where is your ano? (Where is your father/mother/dead-uncle's-second-cousin)
(c) Verb: Anuhin this. (Paint/kill/maim/castrate this.)
(d) Adjective: This is so ano. (This is so pretty/big/astounding.)
(e) Interjection: Ano! (What the hell!)
(f) Substitute for genitalia: (Did you ano your ano?)

The use of ANO is quite dangerous for the untrained ear, and must be put into the proper setting. 

"Honey, the ano is too long, we have to cut it," must be accompanied by the proper understanding of the context, as results may be critical to a couple's future.